Reflection on personal learning experience by Christiane Depestre

Reflection on personal learning experience

by Christiane Depestre

I grew up in a Christian home of 9 children, my being the youngest.  My father always visited the sick and shut-in, and went to the prison, to the common places where the homeless and the needy occupied.  He always brought food and took devotions at every visit.  I had the great privilege of accompanying him to these visits, sometimes on his invitation and sometimes at my own request.  From a tender age, I looked forward to these visits.  The sacrament of the Holy Communion was always administered to the sick and shut-in.  Growing up, I got acquainted to the Deaconesses of the Methodist Church and truly admired their life of dedication, compassion and service.  So, I became very fascinated by the work of women in the Church and had a strong desire to emulate them and bring peace, comfort, relief to the needy.  I went to live in Kingston, Jamaica in the year 1984.  There I got even closer to the Deaconesses and Ministers and felt called to the Ministry.  I was a Local Preacher on trial and took two of the Local Preachers exams. I went through the entire process and met all the necessary requirements of the Methodist Church in the Caribbean and the Americas (MCCA) and of the United Theological College of the West Indies to start Theological Studies.

Having been engaged to be married and with the idea of starting a family, I felt that could continue to be a Lay Person, while taking care of my family life, because I believed that my work as a full-time minister would be more difficult with a family.  In the years that follow, I continued to be involved in my Church life: youth work, visitation ministry, family choir, etc.  I regularly went to the hospitals, home visits to the sick and shut-in, oftentimes I was accompanied with someone with dispensation within the zone.  Over the years, more and more people approach me daily for a listening ear, that I continuously did cheerfully.  They always sought my advice.  So, I often felt that I needed more of a formal training in counseling.  I felt that I needed to find proper ways to minister effectively to the sick, the elderly, those who are grieving, those who are depressed, those who need guidance in one area or another, and to help them feel connected with God no matter what challenge they may be facing, in other words I would help them find compassionate spiritual comfort while they are able to think clearer, understand and sort their issues effectively.

Over the years, I kept feeling that I should serve God’s Kingdom in more organized way, so time became a real issue with hectic work schedule. So here in NY, I usually attend the St. John’s United Methodist Church in Elmont and saw the advertisement of a course in Pastoral Care Counseling in the Church’s Bulletin.  Classes were to be held on the Church premises weekly, by Dr. Penny Gadzini.  This was an answer to prayer for me… so I kept on waiting for the dates to be announced and that still had not yet happened.  After an intensive conversation with my Pastor,  Rev. Patrick Perrin on my new goals, we prayed and concluded that I should pursue a Career in Pastoral Care and Counseling.  So one day, I decided to call Dr. Gadzini personally since I was convinced that this Course was the right program for me… and the rest is now history.  I would particularly like to concentrate on the bereaved, the terminally-ill and the depressed.

When I joined Pastoral Care Mission Center’s Pastoral Care Specialist Program, I had no idea how exciting this journey was going to be…  I had no idea how great the Professors going to be… the fellowship, I had no idea how much of our stories we would have had to share… from our entire life…  I am going to tell you right now that I treasure every moment spent… in fact, every time a class had to be cancelled because of inclement weather, I always dreaded that decision as I always looked forward to being in class with my new nurturing family at PCMC. This Course was an inexhaustible fountain of information. We went through chapters on human development through the lifespan from birth to death.  Several aspects: Physical and Cognitive Development, Language, Emotional and Social Development, Spirituality, Religion and Culture. So many theories were learned on various types of relationships.

I learned to understand Congregations as emotional systems, hence we were required to produce a paper on “healthy church”.  We looked at the different concepts of family dynamics and emotional systems theory – anxiety and reactivity, separateness and closeness, stability and change, and clarity and compassion.  These drew on psychological theory, historical and literary examples, biblical theory, and even neuro-physiological. The message throughout the Course could not be overstated that what The World Needs Is LOVE, SWEET SWEET LOVE!!! That so many children are living without love, without family, with very small amounts of hope and without innocence. So injustices discussed in our Program: Poverty, Starvation, Gender Inequality, Racism, Abuse to the Elderly, Widows and Orphans, Sex Trafficking, War and Grief. (verbal and physical) .  We learned to care and to demonstrate our love for humankind without prejudices.  The approach used is non-judgmental and invites us, Pastoral Care Specialists, to accept everyone for who they are and how they are, without attempting to change or judge anyone.

PEER GROUP was a priceless opportunity we have had to share so much of our own vulnerabilities in this forum!!  There we learned to be sensitive to each other’s needs, to be good listeners, to know that it is just okay to have emotions and to be vulnerable. She has literally taken my hand step by step to develop my full potential at best in the pursuit of my personal goals which is to ultimately care and counsel God’s people on earth.  She got me to do practical work during my vacation in Jamaica West Indies at a Health Fair, when I found persons hurting, unemployed persons, grieving persons, persons whose relative or friend committed suicide, persons carrying very heavy burdens, ill persons, chronically ill persons, just to name some of what I met out. She encouraged me to provide care and counseling to the bereaved in my own local church, just to name a few of the activities I undertook. I am now equipped to train congregational caregivers, and it is my desire with God’s help and with the help of this awesome Faculty to assist in setting PCMC in Jamaica W.I. for instance.

May I heartily congratulate our Faculty for such a great program that is certainly aiding in the furtherance of God’s Kingdom.  I could simply add that more class hours could be added to such a Program as well as the opportunity for everyone to do some specific practical work.

In closing, let me reiterate that it is my greatest desire to use my counseling skills effectively in the manner described by PCMC’s motto “Making Christ Known through Pastoral Care”, to help those in the greatest need of care and counseling in a manner that is similar to Jesus.  God is love and in so far as love has possessed us, He is love!!  Let us spread that love in every corner!! To the entire faculty and staff of PCMC and my fellow classmates, I am very indebted to you.  My fellow classmates, I benefited so much from your insights, your warmth, care and support.  The entire experience conveyed the message that we constantly need one another.  The bond that we share will never be broken… I hold each of you dear to my heart… Sincerest thanks everyone who have come to show care, support and solidarity.  God bless you all!!!